"Trust your gut. You are your own best coach."- Ryan Hall, U.S. Marathoner

That quote in my header is true. You are your own best coach. I'm learning that every day I continue pushing myself to become a runner.

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I'm learning to love the roller!!

Since getting the foam roller, I'm learning how to work through my calf problems. My calves are the next obstacle to overcome in this journey to become a runner. Some people have knee issues, some people have tight hamstrings, but this is my Achilles heel (and my achilles tendons are decently tight too). Instead of crying over it, I'm doing every self massage, every foam roller technique, and lots of icing and hot baths to continue training, healing, and strengthening my weaknesses.

I decided to do a 2 mile run today (it was actually 2.27 to my surprise). I had a side stitch during 25 of the 30 minutes because I'm still getting back into the groove after a week and a half break. The past two runs have been really painful, but I push through because I'm not going to break now. I've come too far, pushed too hard, and achieved too much to let pain rule my life. My pace is slower than I'd like at 13:19, but I know in a few weeks I'll get back to where I was.

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I'm facing my second 5K at less than 100%. I may walk during part of it, especially if my calves start acting up. I'm taking my foam roller and will stretch beforehand to make sure I'll stay as loose as possible. After reading a ton of articles on working through different running issues, I've found that you're not always going to be 100% for every race. Learning how to run through this and having a bad race is going to be good for me. I'm learning more about myself running through 2 miles of pain than if every run was easy and effortless. All runners have days when running is a chore, and it makes you appreciate those days where you feel like you are floating. I've had too many good days. Now comes the time to separate the women from the girls.

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And I'm not a little girl anymore.

Besides getting back to running, I finally finished my first month of Insanity today. The feeling of accomplishment at the end of the workout was amazing. I actually did it! I actually made it to the halfway point of the program! Next week is recovery week and I am looking forward to that! I only have 3 more runs until the race and some extra stretching is more than welcome to make sure the muscles are primed and ready to rock!

Even though things have not been ideal so far, I'm excited to have accomplished so much. Running my second 5K in a week, getting halfway through Insanity, and getting my weight in the high 170s are three goals I'm very proud of. There's still plenty of work to do, but at least progress is being made!

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Yep, that's the pill I take too.

What accomplishments are you proud of so far? What hurdles have you overcome in order to reach your goals?

“In the midst of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.” - A. Camus

Foam rollers are a wonderful gift to all athletes and wanna-be-athletes like myself.

I love you foam roller.
Mine is smaller for travel and such.

I received this wonderful gift to myself yesterday afternoon. It was an odd sensation rolling out my calves and legs in general. Foam rolling is constant pressure on your muscles until they loosen up. The fun comes when you have horrible knots and strains (like me!). I wouldn't say it hurts, per say, I'd just say it is uncomfortable. And you have to remember to breathe. The release and recovery is worth all the "pain."

I got to run 1.5 miles today. Yes, it was a slow run, but it was a run all the same. Without Insanity to keep my cardiovascular system in shape, I really felt the lack of conditioning over the past week and a half. I had a  side stitch for most of time, but managed to get the entire distance in. Gangnam Style helped me push through the pain and keep going when I wanted to quit. Of course at the end I wanted an extra 5 minutes, but I knew better than to overdo it. My right calf isn't exactly healed yet, but I just couldn't wait. I may rest tomorrow just to make sure the right calf continues to heal before the next 5K.

Also, I got to pick back up with Insanity! I did the Cardio Recovery, which was a lot of stretching and strength work. Just what the doctor ordered!

So now we wait and watch and hopefully recondition. The Color Run isn't timed so I won't have an exact measure of how I did. I'm glad it isn't timed since I'm not as conditioned as I was for my first 5K. I am looking forward to seeing my long lost high school friend and getting covered in color!

Fingers crossed the leg keeps on healing!

The Calf Injury Saga & Pity Party

I was all dressed up and ready to go.

"Finally!" I thought, "Today is finally the day I get to return to running! There's a small pain in my other calf, but some self massage will clear it up. No worries!"

The massage didn't help. Now my calf is really hurting.

"No problems, I'll jog around the apartment and it'll loosen up!"

Five minutes of jogging later, pain is shooting up my calf and frustration is slowly building.

"This can't possibly be. I haven't done ANYTHING that would possibly pull this muscle! Except my body keeps getting really tense at night. No, just some more jogging."

Five minutes of jogging later and the pain is still there.

*Start of pity party*

"Why me! Why why why! All I want to do is run. That's all I think about. It's all I want to do and yet my body won't let me do it! Who pulls their leg in their sleep?!"

*Insert crying here*

My cat was confused at the noise I was making.
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My body is not being very nice to me lately. I still (technically) have today and tomorrow to rest for it to be a whole 7 days off since my injury. I really should rest the whole week. I hate resting.

My insomnia is back. After 3 days of crazy amounts of sleep (9-12 hours), it's baaaaack! I'm going to try and stick to a strict bed time routine to get my internal clock reset. This 3am-11am sleep schedule I find myself on is not working out.

So through all this body dysfunction, I'm still managing to lose some weight. I "cheat" weighed myself this morning and was down to 179.6 (I was 180.2 last week). My official weigh in day is usually Friday so I'm excited for it. I'd love it to be 179.2 so I will have officially lost a pound, but any loss is a good loss at this point.

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I threw myself a pity party today and even though I know there are way worse situations to be in, it really helped. The pity party was therapeutic in a way. Now I feel all zen-like and accepting of the world. All the frustration just kept building and building until it finally erupted today. In college, my Psych 101 professor taught us that the physical act of crying actually helps relieve sadness and is a good anti-depressant. Whether that study was true or not, it seems to help me. I'm an over emotional, theatrical kind of person so repressing strong feelings doesn't work for me, especially sadness. I know I look and sound like a spoiled five-year-old child, but after the 5-10 minutes of "tantrum" everything is okay with the world again. Or I could be going through the stages of grief. Or both.

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Thankfully whatever it is happened fast.

Now I'm just figuring out what to do next.  More healing! And maybe some lunch.

Here's hoping Friday is the day!!

The 180 lb. Reward Outfit!!

 Here's the new outfit! I'm probably going to wear it to a wedding we have in August.

Still have to tame those hips!

I love my huge calves. :)
Even though they are problem children...

Tomorrow I get to go back to running. HURRAY!!! I'm going to take it easy with only a 1-1.5 mile run just to make sure everything is feeling good. I'm always nervous getting back into it, but I know to take it slow and easy. I want to go hard or go home. Argh. I have to make sure I can run that 5K!

“The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough.” ― Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture

I love that quote.

I love The Last Lecture. I read that book when I was at the beach during the summer of my 19th birthday. The book is so inspiring and made me want to pursue graduate school and become a professor. Well, those plans didn't pan out, but I simply didn't want it enough.

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I try to remind myself of this.
Especially now.

Anyway, I find myself injured again. Right calf, same spot, very frustrating. I have a foam roller picked out and just need to get the go ahead from the master of coin to purchase it. The biggest problem I have is getting too stiff during a workout, both Insanity and running. I've been doing well with running, but the plyometrics in Insanity require a level of flexibility my calf muscles just don't have. My hamstrings are very tight as well, so stretching is a MUST. The foam roller is supposed to help with calf problems, runner's knee, and a plethora of other issues so I'm really looking forward to using it.

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This is the one I'm getting since it has a DVD.
I have no clue what I'm doing.

I go back to my general doctor in July/August to check up on my anxiety and blood pressure, and I'm going to bring up the problems with my calves and toes turning blue (freaky, I know). Maybe the doctor will send me for an ultrasound or MRI to check on it since I've injured it 3 times in the past 4 months? Here's hoping that the foam roller therapy works well!

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This is accurate of the weekend.

On the food front, this past weekend was just awful. I shoved so much food in my face, especially Friday when I ate 4 pieces of pizza! FOUR! I haven't done that in 6 months. Of course I had quite the tummy ache afterwards so I will not be doing that again any time soon. I ate at maintenance calories since I couldn't control my emotional eating. Whenever I injure myself I get really down and feel like the rest is going to set me back (it never really does to be honest, but that's how I feel) and I'm going to regain all 25 lbs I lost in a weekend. I gained .2 lbs. Not too shabby for a weekend of gluttony.

Just got to keep on swimming, swimming, swimming...

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Today I was so bored I made up my own routine of punches and body weight exercises from everything I learned from Insanity and Jillian Michaels. I managed to fill up 24 minutes with impromtu exercise and burned 165 calories. Not amazing, but it is something. Also, I went to the store and it felt great to get out. My calf is a tad sore, but I'm sure getting out and walking helped shake up the scar tissue in there! I bought so many fruits.

Now I'm going to break down some seedless watermelon and pineapple that I got at the store today. YAY!! I'm hoping to go for a slow 1 mile run on Wednesday and see how everything shakes out. Until then, I shall keep waiting and doing body weight exercises. Patience is a virtue that I am learning...unfortunately.

1800 Minute in May Challenge Recap: 1206 minutes
A very respectable number! I'm going to focus on healing and stretching for the month of June. My goal is to do the foam roller 2 times per week to help loosen my muscles. 

"The only bad workout is the one that didn't happen."

Back to the grind!

So how's the mouth? Better. I still feel like someone punched my jaw and some of my teeth are sore since they had rather deep cavities, but overall I'm doing just fine. I haven't even touched pain relievers. My teeth are only sore when I use them to chew heavily. I'm healing up well.

Last night was a great night. I slept through the entire night! I only managed to get 3 hours of sleep due to my anxiety the night before my appointment so I was sore and tired as heck! I've been struggling with insomnia for 2 weeks and I'm excited to finally get a break. Maybe this is the start of normal sleeping patterns again? One can only hope.

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Today I hit 25 pounds lost. I'm officially halfway to my goal of 155 pounds! It was wonderful to stand on the scale this morning and look down at 180.2. I was stuck at 183 pounds for 2.5 months and I'm so incredibly happy that the scale is moving down again.

INSANE! Haven't seen that number in a while!

My Insanity workout was my most hated Plyometric Cardio Circuit! I hate every minute of that 41 minute routine. The routine consists of shorter intervals and more breaks, but those intervals are super intense sending my heart rate consistently between 165-175 bpm. At 175 bpm, I am breathing so hard I need to walk it out to get my breath back and heart rate down. I didn't get a run in today but I'll definitely be running tomorrow and Saturday. So only 3 of 4 runs this week. Not a big deal.

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I watched Extreme Weight Loss this morning. It is a new show on abc and I loved the first episode! The show airs Tuesdays at 8/7c. The episode was about twins that weighed over 800 pounds between the two of them. Their transformation was amazing and extremely motivating! I know that I have some of the tendencies to be able to reach a weight over 250 pounds. If my body didn't have the issues it did when I was 205 lbs, I probably would've kept gaining weight. The stomach problems were painful, but helped kick my booty into gear. The show is casting and I want to join, but I'm only 25 pounds away from goal, so I doubt they'd take me! So instead I'll keep plugging on with Insanity, and I am looking into P90X for my next challenge. Then, I may loop back to Insanity for another round. We'll see!

This weekend Game of Thrones is back with only 2 more episodes to go in season 3! I finally finished the second book and I am reading the third book now. I am loving the books. The story is a bit different in the books versus the television version. I can see why they changed some portions of it, but I am thoroughly enjoying the new situations and characters that they left out in the television version. If you haven't read the books, I suggest you do especially if you are a fantasy genre fan!

Now I'm off to do some housewife-y things. Have a fantabulous weekend!

1800 Minutes in May Challenge: 1206
(I hit 1200 minutes!! I have a tough workout tomorrow so maybe I'll get close to 1300!)

Dental Visit and an Unexpected Rest Day!

“Faced with the choice of enduring a bad toothache or going to the dentist, we generally tried to ride out the bad tooth.”- Joseph Barbera 

I felt like the worst patient today in the history of the dental office. They assured me I wasn't that bad, but for my expectations, I was bad.

I. Hate. My. Meds.

Because of those and my flip floppity heart that likes to skip beats, I received the numbing shots that only last an hour (minus the epinephrine that can cause a racing heartbeat). Except they didn't last very long for me.

Damn my efficient body!

Things went good on the top of my mouth for the most part. I started to feel pain and they loaded me up with another shot. That was nice. Then they went to the bottom and I just about jumped out of the chair with the one tooth.

Then...MORE SHOTS! GIVE ME ALL THE SHOTS!

I didn't even care about the shots. For some reason I could handle that. Bring on all the needles! That pain I could stand. The sharp, you're-opening-up-my-tooth-and-hitting-a nerve pain is something I cannot take. And of course when it happens once I'm freaked out for the remainder of the appointment, which in this case was over an hour in the chair. I almost bit the drill. That scared the dentist. I tried my best to stay still after that.

Good times.

I was squirming near the end and praying that it would be over soon. I remember thinking, "Please God just let the drilling be over. Let it be over. It should be over NOW." I hate the sound of the drill. I hate the pressure on my teeth. Thankfully my dentist was pretty darn fast for all the drilling she had to do. At one point she mentioned that the one cavity was rather deep. That was not what I wanted to hear, but the anesthetic was working so I didn't care. Just get it done and get the heck out of my mouth.

Finally, the torture was over and I got to sit up. The worst is over right? Wrong. My head was swimming. I felt like I was going to pass out or vomit, whatever came first. Fortunately they reclined me back a little and helped me calm down while trying to even out my bite. I wanted nothing more to do with that darn drill when I felt like passing out. Thankfully it all worked itself out and I was done. I awkwardly washed out my mouth and sat in the chair a bit longer to get my bearings. I had never spent an hour getting fillings before; it was a new experience for me. And I get to do it again next month on the other side. I'm hoping that side isn't as bad.

Le sigh.

So now my jaw is rather sore. I think it's sore mostly from keeping my mouth open for an hour. I'm making homemade tomato soup and grilled cheese tonight to combat the soreness. Yum yum! Yeah it isn't the best diet wise, but at least it'll be easy on the mouth. I haven't eaten since breakfast and I love my food. I'm starting to get peckish now, but I have little to no energy to make food. Maybe a nap and then a homemade blueberry banana smoothie? Yes.

I'm missing my Insanity and running today. I've been having issues with my left knee stiffening up and clicking.  I think this unexpected rest day will be good for me overall. Now I'm off to get a nice big glass of ice water and a small nap!

1800 Minutes in May Challenge: 1165/1800
I think I'll hit 1200! I had a few bumps but I did rather well. Next month I'll try something manageable like 1300 or 1400 minutes.