Iron Girl 5K: Recap

So...I ran a 5K. I did it. I was slow but I never stopped running. That is BEYOND amazing to me. What a great weekend!

On Saturday my dad came into town and we ran around most of the day since I was nervous and didn't want to sit still. When it came time to sleep, I kind of had a mini breakdown. All of the emotions from months of good and bad training days hit me at once and I was just overwhelmed. I couldn't believe I was going to do this. This mythical 5K that was a far off dream during Christmas was now becoming a reality. THE FEELS! 

Accurate.

After a night of very little sleep, I woke up at 5 am ate some rice krispies and suited up. We had fancy time chips that we were fiddling with the best way to put on our sneakers. Weird things but I never even knew it was there until they harvested it from our shoes at the end. Seriously, people were at the finish line with scissors in their hands watching feet and then would stop you to harvest the chip.

o0o0o fancy

It was a tiny bit chilly but the sun was rising as we were stretching and getting ready. The half marathon started first so we cheered them on and then had 20 minutes to jog around a bit and get ready. I was nervous but the whole thing felt surreal. At one point I looked down and was confused why I had a tag on my shirt. I'm not a runner. I'm a fat girl. I walk. I don't run. Yet the tag stayed and I continued to be in a drowsy haze.

Random runners in the parking lot/holding tank

The reality hit me hard when we were all packed in at the starting line. I stayed near the back since I knew better to get in the way of the "real" runners. They were crazy fast. Five minute mile fast. Dang. The countdown happened and we were off. 

It was light jogging on the flat and then up a hill out of the parking lot and onto the main street. The course was gentle rolling hills. There would be a flat area, a nice incline, a flat, a nice incline and repeat a few times. At one point I asked my dad if we hit a mile yet and he said we were right by the half way/turn around point. Sure enough a few minutes later we grabbed some water, tossed it back and set off down hill. Oh how wondrous the downhill part felt after, more or less, an uphill climb. There were some light hills again but it was nice and we really picked up the pace from mile 2 to the end. People were walking a lot and we kept passing loads of them, making me feel great that I was able to keep going. Around mile 3 I told my dad I was getting a beer at lunch and I didn't care. I earned it. He just chuckled. 

I remember seeing the end point of the race. My lungs were starting to burn since I was pushing it. I saw the other runners ahead of us turning to the right and I knew we were steps from the finish! I continued to bugger on and was soon greeting by the flags and fancy finish line colors. They announced my name as I finished and all I kept telling myself was "get to the blue mats, get to the blue mats, get to the blue mats." I touched down on those lovely blue mats and started to walk. My head felt like it was floating and I assumed it was from minor oxygen deprivation there at the end. 

I'm in the black going under the arch.
My dad hung back so I could have my time alone with the blue mats, haha.
I have never been so happy to see blue mats in my life.

The official race clock was set for the half marathon finishers so I had no clue what time I came in at until I got home and looked at the results. I was just happy to have finished. I got my fancy "finisher" medal, some water and got my shoe tag harvested and then grabbed some free food. An unripe banana never tasted so good. When we got back to the car I had a rice krispie treat I promised myself if I didn't walk during the race. Such sweet, sugary success!

At home I looked up my final time and was pleasantly surprised to have finished in 41 minutes and 36 seconds. My goal was to do it in 45 minutes and I smashed that. My next goal will be to do 5K under 40 minutes. In my head I keep beating myself up. "I should have trained harder...I should have run faster..." At 182 pounds I did a very respectable time. The more weight that comes off my body the more minutes will come off my 5K time. I started this on December 29th wheezing and hacking after running 1 minute. I ran 41 minutes today without stopping. Now that is progress. I'm happier that I can run the distance rather than speed. Speed will come. It will take time but speed will come.

My fancy medal.

Now to wait for Game of Thrones!!

Mileage: 3.1
Average Pace per Mile: 13:26 (thank you run keeper! I did the math wrong and thought I did around 13:59...yay for an extra few second off!)

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” ― Winston Churchill

I'm still here, still training!

I came down with some kind of tummy bug thing yesterday and got a mile into my run and had to be done. I languished around and then slept for 12 hours and now I'm feeling MUCH better. Glad it was just a 24 hour thing because that race is right around the corner!

As soon as my dad arrives on Saturday we have to go pick up our packets. The race isn't until Sunday but number/packet pickup occurs Friday and Saturday ONLY. No race day pick up. This is really weird to me since every race I've went to watch my dad always had a race day pick up. This race is different since it is a half marathon AND 5K so they want to start ASAP so the roads can be opened up again before the mall opens. Wish me luck!

Tomorrow I'm just going to do a quick mile, do my last day of Ripped in 30 and use Saturday to rest. I'm actually as excited as I am nervous so the two are cancelling each other out for the time being. I'm really just happy to have made it this far after a plethora of pulled muscles, hurt feet, and weak ankles. I'm definitely going to walk during it, and maybe one day I won't walk a 5K but I'm not there yet. I'm just hoping the rain hold off. Happily it is going to be overcast and chilly! I LOVE running in the cold since I get really hot when I run. My body with the extra blubber keeps me plenty warm during a run, and I feel powerful moving through the cold air with my own body heat radiating around me. That was my experience running in the snow at my in-laws' house and I LOVED it! My pants were falling down and my tummy was peaking out and by the end I couldn't feel it but it was a great experience and one I look forward to having again. I still haven't gotten smaller pants so my tummy will probably be peaking out during the whole race but at 23 pounds smaller than when I started, I'm proud of my slightly smaller, slightly less jiggly tummy. Oh well.

Today the scale FINALLY moved. After 5 weeks of stagnation, I lost 1.5 pounds in a week. Damn. I don't know how that happened. I've been so hungry and eating a lot. I don't understand my body nor do I care. If the scale is moving down, I'm a happy girl.

So my Ripped in 30 program is over tomorrow and I've been pondering what to do next. I'm going to do Insanity. My husband looked at me with a semi-horrified expression of disbelief. He watched me try to do it when I was this size 2 year ago. After doing 30 Day Shred and Ripped in 30, I feel comfortable attempting Insanity because I know when to push and when to just kneel down in child's pose and take a breather. Do I think it's going to be easy? Oh heck no, but I believe I can do it. I've pushed through Jillian's workouts and cried and groaned but it made me strong. She broke my body, muscles, spirit and in the end made me stronger.

I'm the strongest 182 pounds I've ever been. I'm not just losing weight to be skinny. I started off with that as a goal. Who doesn't want to strut around in a string bikini with very little body fat and a flat stomach while the men drool and women glare at you all jealous and stuff? I'm still human and suffer from vanity. Honestly, after building my upper body strength enough to be able to do a few man style push-ups, I want to do MORE. I want to have a strong body, not just a skinny body. I want to have strong thigh muscles, not a thigh gap. Seriously what is the obsession with the thigh gap? I don't have a model body and never will, but I CAN have muscles. The goal I want to achieve more than ANYTHING is to go to the doctor next year and have perfect blood pressure, blood work and a healthy weight, and to be told I'm healthy and to keep up the good work. I'd like for my GERD to go away completely. I want to be healthy. I'll wear a whole piece the rest of my life as long as sickness and disease stays away from my body. I'd like to reach 100 if I can. The only thing I can do is try to take care of myself from here on out.

Many people talk about weight loss as a journey, but the thing is it really isn't a journey. Sure the weight loss will stop eventually, but you will spend the rest of your life maintaining it. So many people, including myself, think that they will lose the weight and it will be over. Then you go back to eating as you did before and find yourself gaining weight and back at the start all over again. That's why it is taking me so long to lose weight. The fun part of my "diet" is that I get to eat. A lot. I've been eating 1700-2000+ calories. I have to redo my calorie calculations now for the Insanity diet, but as of 185 I got to eat 2300 calories per day while doing Insanity. It'll probably be more like 2200 now. Yes that's 2200 a day to LOSE weight! That's how hard Insanity is. I can't wait. I LOVE IT!!

"Man imposes his own limitations, don't set any" -Anthony Bailey

Today I ran for Boston and pushed myself beyond the "limits" I had bound myself in.

4.52 miles...BAM!

Normally Wednesday's "long" run is 3.5 miles and done somewhere around 45-50 minutes. Today I upped that by a mile and 15 more minutes. I proved that I am stronger, better, have more endurance, and can start pushing the envelope now. I did my 3.1 miles in 43 minutes. I was so happy I wanted to cry.

At 2.5 miles I was ready to quit. A panic attack was rearing its ugly head and I was doubting my ability to even do 3 miles. I took a 3 minute walk break and focused. I was doing this for all those people who lost their ability to run with their own legs. I run for them and hope that they get some killer prosthetics and are able to walk again soon. I ran for the 3 poor souls that have passed beyond this life on that day and were take too soon. I ran for the 8 year old boy who lost his life and minutes before hugged his dad at the finish line of the marathon. I ran for the 8 year old girl inside that has hugged her dad at the finish line of various races and marathons. I ran for any future daughters or sons I might have so they can hug their mommy at the finish line of a race. I ran for my husband so he can hug my sweaty self at the finish line of my first 5K in less than 2 weeks.

I ran for me.

Now I'm not fast. I consider my "running" as jogging with style. I've been working on my breathing and posture and boy does that make a difference when it comes to endurance. But still I feel awesome.

That's about accurate...

Afterwards I huffed and puffed through Week 4 of Jillian Michael's Ripped in 30. Insane? Yes. I don't think my body will work tomorrow. That's okay since I only lost 1.2 pounds in a month. Bad girl! But I have some pretty sweet muscles that weren't there before so it's not all bad.

So now I'm going to play games the rest of the day because I deserve it dammit! After sweeping the floor first, cleaning the kitchen and getting a snack.

Mileage: 4.5 (BAM!)

"Of all the races, there is no better stage for heroism than a marathon." -George Sheehan

I was going to talk about mental toughness with running, but due to today's events at the Boston marathon I feel it is more appropriate to take the time to reflect and pray for everyone that was affected by the terrible events.

May The Lord Bless You

(A Judeo-Christian Blessing)

May the Lord bless you and keep you.

May the Lord make his face to shine upon you,
and be gracious to you.

May the Lord lift up his countenance upon you,
and give you peace.

"We all live with the scars we choose. They might hurt like hell but they all make us stronger..."- Take Me As I Am, Sugarland

I FEEL GREAT TODAY!

Yes, it was necessary to yell. I haven't felt so good, so healthy, so calm and happy in a long while. Best of all, my anxiety is on the downward swing and I've found better ways to reign it in when it is getting too much.

And today I ran 20 minutes without stopping for the first time in a month! I actually enjoyed my time on the treadmill today. *gasp*

Afterwards I celebrated with level 3 day 2 of Ripped in 30! Level 3 is no joke. I started the first day of it on Saturday and during the cool down cried because I was so happy I survived and finished the 30 minutes. Next to Insanity, it is the hardest routine I've ever encountered. The level really targets your thighs, butt, and triceps the most. On Sunday I had some serious delayed-onset muscle soreness like I had when I started working out 4 months ago. Ouch ouch ouch!

But oh it works!

Today we hit 80 degrees! And I discovered I can wear all of my shorts! Well, I shouldn't really wear 2 pairs because they are too loose! I'm beyond amazed at the progress I've made with my body. Now I'm still in the 180s but I am rocking my shorts and showing off the progress I've made. This whole experience has made me appreciate my body much more than I used to. I used to complain at 155 lbs that I was fat. Now I'd love to go back and smack my 20-year-old self upside the head. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

For once, I'm semi-looking forward to the race in 3 weeks! I got to visit with my parents this weekend, and my dad seems really excited and proud that I keep going no matter what. I almost quit, but now I've worked out that my body is the happiest around a 14 minute mile and I can maintain good running form. Speed will come eventually, but right now distance and endurance are the most important. I still have the improbable dream of running that 9 miler in November! Fingers crossed!

So this weekend's television was great! I really enjoyed the new episode of Doctor Who. My parents were over and watched it with us and liked it as well. I think I'm going to convert my mom to the whovian life, ha ha! Game of Thrones was great and left me thinking about what's going to happen next, especially with Arya!

Well, I'm off to start tonight's dinner, steak sandwiches! Nomz!

“Promise Yourself

To be so strong that nothing
can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity
to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel
that there is something in them
To look at the sunny side of everything
and make your optimism come true.

To think only the best, to work only for the best,
and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past
and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times
and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,
and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world,
not in loud words but great deeds.
To live in faith that the whole world is on your side
so long as you are true to the best that is in you.”
― Christian D. Larson, Your Forces and How to Use Them

Keep buggering on!

Side stitches SUCK

I only got in 8 minutes of jogging and the side stitches were so bad they even hurt when I walked. I only got 30 minutes in (mostly walking), but hey, that's better than nothing, right?

I really hate the treadmill. Really. Truly. Hate. It. 

source: happyorhungry.com
^ Great blog!^

It's boring and leaves me with my thoughts, which are horrible negative and self-defeating. Doesn't help when marathon girl is next to you rocking it out. She doesn't seem like a nice person, and, for the few times I've seen her now, she looks like she wears a permanent scowl. Maybe I just need to wave at her or smile or something? Spread the love! Life's too short to be upset/mean. 

I need to stop being so damn mean to myself.  

Working on it.

The best time of the day is Ripped in 30 time! I just finished level 2 today and I am feeling so strong and awesome. No matter how crappy my run/jog/walk went, I always know Jillian will kick the crap out of me. Masochist? Maybe. I love the feeling of my muscles giving out, resting for five seconds, then getting right back at it until they give out again. Ah, what a difference 4 months makes! I'm just hoping to keep it going for, um, ever. Hopefully. I'm finally starting to feel my age again and not 20 years older. 

Things are improving. 

Last night I had an awesome time at D&D (Dungeons & Dragons)! I love being a warforged barbarian and smashing things. Joe talked me into take the shiny, purple, magical warhammer before we sold it and, I must say, I love it. I tried it out in the next battle and made orc pancakes! Although I'm still quite slow with the mental math so it takes me a few seconds to add everything up before I annihilate orcs or whatever is attacking us. Something is always attacking us. At least it's fun!

Tomorrow is Doctor Who! Ah I love Saturdays in spring and fall, always something good to watch! And Sunday is more Game of Thrones, yes!

For now I shall go scrub toilets since the parents are coming to visit this weekend....

Mileage: 1.75

Ripped in 30 Progress: Level 2- Complete!

“The best way out is always through.” ― Robert Frost

So I keep on keepin' on.

Today I wanted to see how long it would take me to do 3.1 miles on a walk/jog pace. It took me 48 minutes to reach 3.1 and the total distance I went was 3.18 in 50 minutes. I had a panic attack during the last 5 minutes but I had to keep it together since the gym was not deserted today (boo). Marathon man was there and a new girl I haven't seen before was there. I'll call her marathon girl. Marathon girl was most likely wearing perfume because I could smell it 2 treadmills over. Wearing perfume to the gym is something that makes no sense to me. You can't possibly smell that terrible that you need to be all perfumed up to workout. At first I was annoyed by her fit presence striding along faster than I could ever hope to run. Then I started striding along with her (my strides being MUCH smaller and slower) and it was nice. I was mentally beating myself up the entire time (which is why I prefer a deserted gym, but I seriously need to get over it already), but I need to accept the fact that I am responsible for gaining 50 pounds and getting into the worst shape of my life. Now I need to dig myself out of that hole. And since I had a good 40 pounds on that chick (her legs were the size of my biceps...yeah...) I figure I'm doing good jogging along between a 12-14 minute pace.

I am broken up with running in my mind, but I get on the treadmill and I just won't stop trying. I still jog for 5 minutes at a time with various walk breaks. I think it's just so ingrained, I don't want to stop. I'm terrified about the race at the end of the month, but I'm hoping I come in around 45-48 minutes. If I do better, well then that will be a great surprise. If I do worse, well, I wasn't expecting much anyway. Last year the last person to cross the finish line in that race came in with an 18 minute mile so I'm hopeful I won't be the only slow one. Yay!

Yesterday I made Halupki (Pigs in Blanket) Soup for dinner and it was AMAZING. It tastes exactly like a shredded up halupki (piggies, pigs in a blanket, etc.) in broth. Nomz! I grew up in a Slovak-Irish family so anything with cabbage is comfort food to me. So here's the recipe if you're a lover of halupki like me!

Halupki Soup (Pigs in Blanket Soup)

Ingredients:
1 lb. ground beef
1 cup chopped onions
1 clove garlic finely chopped
2 cans (14.5 oz) of beef broth
1 package (1 lb.) of shredded cole slaw (in the bagged salad area)
1 (28 oz) can diced tomatoes
1 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1/2-3/4 cup uncooked rice (I used 3/4 c. because I like more rice in my halupki)

Directions:
Spray pot with Pam (or use a tablespoon or two of olive oil).

Brown meat, add onions and stir for about 5 minutes. Stir in garlic and heat until fragrant (about 30 sec). Add broth, cole slaw, tomatoes, salt, and lemon juice. Bring mixture to a boil.

After bringing the mixture to a boil, reduce the heat to medium, add rice, and simmer for 45 minutes.

Enjoy!

And I shall leave you with this:

Happy Fish Fingers and Custard Day!
AND
3 years of being a Whovian!

Oh how I wish this was an April Fools joke...

...but it is with a heavy, anxiety thumping heart I have to breakup with running.

I need to get everything with my physical self together again. No doubt I will return to running in a few months, but right now I need to focus on getting my anxiety in control since it is controlling me.

Now am I giving up on weight loss? Oh heeeeellll no! I'm nearing the end of week 2 of Ripped in 30 and I plan to replace running with walking. Cooking and food is my passion and I'm still learning how to make my favorite foods a tad more healthy. Tonight is healthy chicken pot pie. I'm very excited and I better be off here soon to get it started!

My heartburn/reflux stuff has been horrible so I tried the home remedy of a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar. I chased it with a little apple juice and water. It burned all the way down just like a shot of whiskey...but at least whiskey warms you afterward....evil vinegar. I hope it works because Zantac is expensive. My mother-in-law and grandmother-in-law, and my mom suggested it to me months ago so it's about time to follow their advice since I'm getting sick of taking pills. If that doesn't work it looks like an upper GI endoscopy is in my future. Please work evil vinegar.

My new shot of choice...ew...

So this blog will still continue. I'm thinking about changing it a bit. We'll see what I come up with.

My broken heart will heal and I will still lose weight. I'm not giving up there. It's harder to give up on losing weight when I know that my physical health will worsen. So for now, good bye running! Maybe I'll see you again in a few months? Hopefully.