Keep buggering on!

Side stitches SUCK

I only got in 8 minutes of jogging and the side stitches were so bad they even hurt when I walked. I only got 30 minutes in (mostly walking), but hey, that's better than nothing, right?

I really hate the treadmill. Really. Truly. Hate. It. 

source: happyorhungry.com
^ Great blog!^

It's boring and leaves me with my thoughts, which are horrible negative and self-defeating. Doesn't help when marathon girl is next to you rocking it out. She doesn't seem like a nice person, and, for the few times I've seen her now, she looks like she wears a permanent scowl. Maybe I just need to wave at her or smile or something? Spread the love! Life's too short to be upset/mean. 

I need to stop being so damn mean to myself.  

Working on it.

The best time of the day is Ripped in 30 time! I just finished level 2 today and I am feeling so strong and awesome. No matter how crappy my run/jog/walk went, I always know Jillian will kick the crap out of me. Masochist? Maybe. I love the feeling of my muscles giving out, resting for five seconds, then getting right back at it until they give out again. Ah, what a difference 4 months makes! I'm just hoping to keep it going for, um, ever. Hopefully. I'm finally starting to feel my age again and not 20 years older. 

Things are improving. 

Last night I had an awesome time at D&D (Dungeons & Dragons)! I love being a warforged barbarian and smashing things. Joe talked me into take the shiny, purple, magical warhammer before we sold it and, I must say, I love it. I tried it out in the next battle and made orc pancakes! Although I'm still quite slow with the mental math so it takes me a few seconds to add everything up before I annihilate orcs or whatever is attacking us. Something is always attacking us. At least it's fun!

Tomorrow is Doctor Who! Ah I love Saturdays in spring and fall, always something good to watch! And Sunday is more Game of Thrones, yes!

For now I shall go scrub toilets since the parents are coming to visit this weekend....

Mileage: 1.75

Ripped in 30 Progress: Level 2- Complete!

“I DON'T CARE!" Harry yelled at them, snatching up a lunascope and throwing it into the fireplace. "I'VE HAD ENOUGH, I'VE SEEN ENOUGH, I WANT OUT, I WANT IT TO END, I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!" "You do care," said Dumbledore. He had not flinched or made a single move to stop Harry demolishing his office. His expression was calm, almost detached. "You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it.” ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

"You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it.” 

So I have yet another injury. It is probably minor and gone within a few days, but it is so frustrating! I ran around the neighborhood yesterday morning. I had a great time, so much so I wasn't sure if I went around the .6 mile loop  3 or 4 times. The last time around I felt some pain in my arch and didn't think much of it. I went out grocery shopping and running errands, did some cleaning, and started some laundry (my life is so amazingly interesting, right?). Then as I was making dinner it felt like the arch of my foot wanted to crack and was sore. After dinner, my entire foot (top, bottom, ankle, part of my calf) had a throbbing, radiating pain shooting through it. I iced it and still the pain persisted. It was only after an Aleve that the pain was a little less intense and I slept with my foot propped up. 

I'm too young for this. 

I cannot describe in words how defeated I felt last night. It's always something. Yes, I'm on the hunt for a doctor so I can get answers to why this one leg is the bain of my exercise existence. Even when I was 30 pounds lighter I still had foot pain, but of course the extra weight makes everything worse. Ah if only I could lose 30 pounds in one night...

Um, maybe not...

I love quotes. I love books. When I ran across this Harry Potter quote it was perfect. I just want to give up right now. I want to just say, "SCREW IT ALL!! IT ISN'T WORTH IT! I DON'T CARE!" But the truth is I care so much. If I didn't care about getting healthy and becoming a distance runner I wouldn't get so emotional and angry. I would shrug my shoulders and say, well at least I tried! And that race is nipping at my painful heels. 

Nothing in life worth having comes easy, right?

So today I'm hobbling about the house doing little things here and there. I'm giving it one really good day of rest and then maybe I'll try doing a light walk on it tomorrow. I'm hoping there is that stretchy bandage stuff around here somewhere to wrap my arch and ankle for some extra support. 

I'm thinking I'll sign up for that community chorus today. I've been back and forth with participating or not. My husband knocked some sense and tough love into me a few nights ag0 (figuratively not literally!).
After getting married so fast, failing at 4 different jobs in the span of 2 years, and having lots of anxiety issues, I've become a recluse. I very rarely go out with other people and usually my husband is there too. I have very little self confidence left (not like I had much before) and generally avoid people. 

Well, I've taken some steps to fix all that and so far so good. Joining this chorus would get me out of my shell and I LOVE singing. I took voice lessons last year for about 3 months and improved rather quickly. I have a lot more confidence singing, but I'm still scared as heck to do it in front of others. I'm at a point where I miss singing so much that I don't care if other people hear me or not. Thankfully a chorus is about blending and harmonizing and I enjoyed it in high school so why not give it a try?

My favorite song to sing is...

Name that song and musical! 

I love it. I love singing Maureen's part but can also relate to Joanne's part as well. Maureen's attitude is a side of myself I buried when I said I do. I was a risk taker and I'd like to think flirty when I wanted to be. I've never been a party girl in any sense of the word and will never be, but I do like the limelight here and there. I never had this song as an assignment for voice lessons, but I have been working on it constantly. 

Singing is a good stress reliever. Almost as good as exercise...almost.  

New Doctor Who in 19 DAYS! 
New Game of Thrones in 20 DAYS!

My favorite Game of Thrones character? It's a tie between Arya Stark and Daenerys Targaryen. 
My husband and I both LOVE Arya and agree that if we have a child and it is a girl she will be named Arya.  I love Daenerys because life really screwed her over and she took control of it and is growing to be a very strong woman. The same could be said about Arya as well. And everyone in the book.  It is addicting and I'm working on the books now. Love it!

Winter is coming...

tumblr.com
I cried like a baby during this scene. One of those "Omg I didn't realize this show affected me like this" moments.

Mileage from 3/11: 1.8 running, .6 walking

"What doesn't kill you makes a fighter..."- Kelly Clarkson, What Doesn't Kill You (Stronger)

UGH.

Yeah, I'm a little perturbed today.

So my calf strain healed and I got back to running today. The run went well. Only did 1.5 miles of running to make sure not to aggravate the strain if it wasn't totally healed. Well, after running some errands, and cleaning  much of the apartment (which I did in supportive shoes) I notice my left ankle is sore and stiff. And of course it is the achilles tendon that is sore and stiff. I'm praying that I didn't really hurt it and it is just being sore and a pain (literally).

It's always something isn't it?

That's about right...

I hate being overweight (as I have finally reached a BMI under obese, I can safely say I'm overweight. yay!). Being overweight makes everything harder. Most normal, healthy, semi-in-shape people can start training to run and if they have the right shoe they usually don't come across any injuries until they are going much farther than 2.5-3 miles. Or at least it feels that way! I want to run. I have to run. There are so many people saying I can't and I can not let them win. I will not sit by while they smile smugly knowing they were right all along.

Because they're not.

Who wouldn't want to be a unicorn?

Sure I might not keep my commitments, change my mind easily, and make crazy impromptu decisions, but this is one decision, one dream, I REFUSE to give up on. I have a huge race in November I WILL RUN. I need to learn how to run hills without pulling my muscles because this race is hill crazy! I'm just thankful that I have a great running store very close by with staff that have done marathons to get advice from. I'll wrap my legs up in whatever I need to as long as I can continue training and getting better without injury. I'm sure I'm not the only fat runner they've ever had.

Slow and strong, baby!

I'm trying, I'm concerned and I want to be better. That has to count for something, right?

My apologies as that was a bit of a rant [understatement of the year], but I really need to reassess and remember why I'm doing this. I'm doing it to stick to something for once in my life. And it will happen, it will just take a lot of time and work.

Time, time time.

The food front hasn't been good either this week. I had 2 failed recipes one right after the other this week. I'm hoping tonight's dinner goes well. It's basically a mexican inspired frittata, and I can cook eggs well so fingers crossed! I found a lot of good recipes online and next week is looking much more promising than this week.

This week has just been a knock down, drag out, Murphy's law kind of week. Definitely looking forward to my Friday beer tomorrow. Well, the "beer" will actually be cider. I have a new Woodchuck Cider to try, nom nom!

If only... :)

One day I'll look back at this time and (hopefully) be able to say this was my fork in the road, my turning point and I decided to keep going. I know there are a lot more forks in the road and injuries and setbacks, but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?

New Doctor Who: 23 days

tumblr.com

Mileage: running- 1.6, walking .6