Forever Indecisive and the Run for the Cookies 10K Recap

I need to get back to blogging more often, so here I am!

I must confess, I haven't run for 3 weeks until this week when I managed a 2 miler during the week and completed a very painful 10k yesterday (more on that later). I seriously contemplated on giving up running for good. I was trying to search for meaning and what I am meant to do with my life. After some soul searching, I realized it would be a huge mistake to quit running. Not only for the health benefits, but because it is something I truly love to do.

Running is one of the few things in my life I love that I'm not naturally "good at" and really have to work at it to achieve little wins. I've grown up with things coming easy to me. I was a great student and never had issues studying and getting As (except some topics in math and science that tripped me up!). I was always one the best at whatever I got into. Now that I'm out of school, I've had some serious issues adjusting to the working world. I'm a perfectionist and you can not possibly do EVERYTHING right when you are learning a new job. Running is something that keeps my anxiety in check and reminds me that I cannot possibly be the best at everything, but I need to give it my best shot!

Last time I wrote about retracting my full marathon goal. Well, I'm not going to give up that easy. I'm going to do the training schedule to the best of my ability and see how I progress up to race day. I just might be able to do it. Last year I thought it was impossible for me to complete Berwick's Run for the Diamonds, but I did it! I may not have a 6 minute mile or even an 8 minute mile, but I can move my body across long distances with success. I'll take it!

So yesterday I completed Berwick's Run for the Cookies 10K. After 3 weeks of only running 2 miles, I was nervous and in disbelief that I was actually doing it. We had a GORGEOUS day. The temperature was in the 40s and sunny. There was still a lot of snow on the ground from the storms that passed through last weekend, but the roads were clear. The course was flat at first and my dad and I ran a 10:30 minute mile the first mile. Mile 2-3 was all rolling hills and a tough incline to the turn around point. My dad pulled ahead of me during the hill climb, but I passed him on the awesome downhills after mile 3. My young knees can handle the impact of the downhills but my Dad's knees hurt a but going downhill so he takes his time.

Eventually at mile 5 he caught back up to me back on the flat and I was really hurting since it had been almost a month since I ran this long. He tried to take my mind off of it. We ran (no pun intended) into a nice guy who shared his story with me about his torn hamstring. This was his first race since healing. He was hurting too so I enjoyed trying to get both out minds off our sore, dead legs. I usually take a GU around 45 minutes into a long run and I was WELL past that time and forgot to bring GU so that's why my legs felt awful.

At the final stretch of the race, I wanted nothing more than to lay down and stop. My legs hurt so bad I wanted to cry. Also, I missed the water stand at mile 2 and I was PARCHED! And my dad started goading me to go all in and finish strong. My legs didn't want to do it, I grunted in pain, but I gave it all and motored across the finish line at 1:12:38. There was a lovely gentleman holding out water bottles 10 feet after the finish line, and I graciously took and tore into the water bottle downing it by the time Joe caught up to us.

The cookies were handnpies with either cherry or raisin filling. I had cherry and it was glorious! My dad had raisin and it tasted like an apple pie, but with raisins instead of apples. It was 110% worth the painful 6.2 miles for that cookie. I will definitely be carving out time to do that race next year! Food is a wonderful motivator for me.

I improved my 10K time almost 4 minutes so that is a win for me! My first 10K was 1:16:26 and yesterday's was 1:12:38. Almost 4 minute improvement over 6 months? I'll take it!!

Today I am nice and sore, but I'm going to try and get my husband out training for his 5K. I need to find us one so he has a goal. And grocery shopping today! I'm going to try going vegan for 6 weeks and then at the end of that I'll decide if I want to continue, go vegetarian, or go back to being a good ol' omnivore! I'll be blogging more often to give updates on training and this new lifestyle change of mine. It's going to be awfully hard, but I want to see if it is really all it's cracked up to be health wise!

Retractions and Rethinking

I've been mulling it over.
And over.
And over.

I don't think the full marathon thing is going to happen for me this year. I was off to a semi good start. Then a small sickness, no big. Second good week. Then the shooting at my work. And since then, I've run once for 3 miles. A week ago.

Did I mention I'm running a half marathon in 12 weeks?

Yeah.

Well the half is going to get done even if I have to crawl across the finish. Hmm sounds like last year when I said the same thing about my first 5k. So I guess I'm still better off than last year.

I have a 10k in 2 weeks on Saturday. Yikes!

Time to really kick it back into gear.

I'm emotionally better since the whole incident on that Saturday. No, I wasn't at work (thank goodness!), but I was on my way and I have gotten to know many people in my store and surrounding stores well so I was worried and so sick the whole day. When we went back to work I was uneasy. Monday through Thursday was depressing to be at work. I just felt like I wanted to cry all day. Very little traffic so we didn't have anything else to think about. I can see the store from our store. People came and paid their respects. I got up the nerve on Tuesday afternoon to do the same. The candlelight vigil is what really helped. A lot of stores, including mine, closed down to attend for 30 minutes. There was something very healing about that cold as heck 30 minutes that helped me. I don't know if I froze the grief out of me, but I haven't been depressed on my way to or at work. What happened was awful and something I hope to never experience first hand. I do not ever want a phone call like the one I got last week ever again.

On the bright side, my friend welcomed her first son into the world! I got to hold him and he melted my heart. I didn't think I'd want children. I thought I'd be one of those happy older people in Cancun without kids living the high life. Yes, more champagne darling!

Maybe it was the awful tragedy at work, or maybe the woman baby hormones finally kicked in but I...I think I want a child. ONE child. I don't think I can put myself through so much physical pain more than once in my life. Mind you, I'm not gunning for one right away. After I got a glimpse at all the work pregnancy is (thank you friends and the internet), I figure it'd be a great idea to get at least 15-20 pounds off. Sure I have 30 to go, but sweets are SO GOOD DAMMIT! And the husband needs to get used to the idea and warm to it since we were all in the "no babies for life" party. But the way he babies our cat and talks with little kids, I'm sure he'll be just fine.

At work I'm officially in charge of the floorsets. Had my first on Tuesday night. I was rough and thankfully I had a ton of help. Between the physical prep and execution of floorsets and marathon training, I was burning the candle at both ends. Some people can work physical(ish) jobs and run marathons. Good for them. This pretzel loving, chocolate chomping, ice cream slurping girl just cannot handle it. Not yet. A half is a good challenge for this year. And perhaps I'll do a second half in the fall like I was planning. I like to jump the gun with things. My friends and family know this fact all too well.

But who knows, maybe I will do it.

For now, it is my stretch goal.

There are so many more things I want to accomplish before becoming a...*gulp*... mommy. Marathon isn't necessarily one of them. I'd love to train for one a year after my future baby arrives. Oh you bet your bottom dollar I'll be out rollin with my jogging stroller. Short mileages of course. Babysitting 12-24 month olds have taught me that they get real heavy, real fast. It'll be more motivation to have my son/daughter cheering me on at the finish line. Aw man, I'm getting soft and sappy already. SMH.

I am in the process of making a list.

Next blog post....The INFAMOUS THINGS TO DO BEFORE BABY LIST!