Forever Indecisive and the Run for the Cookies 10K Recap

I need to get back to blogging more often, so here I am!

I must confess, I haven't run for 3 weeks until this week when I managed a 2 miler during the week and completed a very painful 10k yesterday (more on that later). I seriously contemplated on giving up running for good. I was trying to search for meaning and what I am meant to do with my life. After some soul searching, I realized it would be a huge mistake to quit running. Not only for the health benefits, but because it is something I truly love to do.

Running is one of the few things in my life I love that I'm not naturally "good at" and really have to work at it to achieve little wins. I've grown up with things coming easy to me. I was a great student and never had issues studying and getting As (except some topics in math and science that tripped me up!). I was always one the best at whatever I got into. Now that I'm out of school, I've had some serious issues adjusting to the working world. I'm a perfectionist and you can not possibly do EVERYTHING right when you are learning a new job. Running is something that keeps my anxiety in check and reminds me that I cannot possibly be the best at everything, but I need to give it my best shot!

Last time I wrote about retracting my full marathon goal. Well, I'm not going to give up that easy. I'm going to do the training schedule to the best of my ability and see how I progress up to race day. I just might be able to do it. Last year I thought it was impossible for me to complete Berwick's Run for the Diamonds, but I did it! I may not have a 6 minute mile or even an 8 minute mile, but I can move my body across long distances with success. I'll take it!

So yesterday I completed Berwick's Run for the Cookies 10K. After 3 weeks of only running 2 miles, I was nervous and in disbelief that I was actually doing it. We had a GORGEOUS day. The temperature was in the 40s and sunny. There was still a lot of snow on the ground from the storms that passed through last weekend, but the roads were clear. The course was flat at first and my dad and I ran a 10:30 minute mile the first mile. Mile 2-3 was all rolling hills and a tough incline to the turn around point. My dad pulled ahead of me during the hill climb, but I passed him on the awesome downhills after mile 3. My young knees can handle the impact of the downhills but my Dad's knees hurt a but going downhill so he takes his time.

Eventually at mile 5 he caught back up to me back on the flat and I was really hurting since it had been almost a month since I ran this long. He tried to take my mind off of it. We ran (no pun intended) into a nice guy who shared his story with me about his torn hamstring. This was his first race since healing. He was hurting too so I enjoyed trying to get both out minds off our sore, dead legs. I usually take a GU around 45 minutes into a long run and I was WELL past that time and forgot to bring GU so that's why my legs felt awful.

At the final stretch of the race, I wanted nothing more than to lay down and stop. My legs hurt so bad I wanted to cry. Also, I missed the water stand at mile 2 and I was PARCHED! And my dad started goading me to go all in and finish strong. My legs didn't want to do it, I grunted in pain, but I gave it all and motored across the finish line at 1:12:38. There was a lovely gentleman holding out water bottles 10 feet after the finish line, and I graciously took and tore into the water bottle downing it by the time Joe caught up to us.

The cookies were handnpies with either cherry or raisin filling. I had cherry and it was glorious! My dad had raisin and it tasted like an apple pie, but with raisins instead of apples. It was 110% worth the painful 6.2 miles for that cookie. I will definitely be carving out time to do that race next year! Food is a wonderful motivator for me.

I improved my 10K time almost 4 minutes so that is a win for me! My first 10K was 1:16:26 and yesterday's was 1:12:38. Almost 4 minute improvement over 6 months? I'll take it!!

Today I am nice and sore, but I'm going to try and get my husband out training for his 5K. I need to find us one so he has a goal. And grocery shopping today! I'm going to try going vegan for 6 weeks and then at the end of that I'll decide if I want to continue, go vegetarian, or go back to being a good ol' omnivore! I'll be blogging more often to give updates on training and this new lifestyle change of mine. It's going to be awfully hard, but I want to see if it is really all it's cracked up to be health wise!

Retractions and Rethinking

I've been mulling it over.
And over.
And over.

I don't think the full marathon thing is going to happen for me this year. I was off to a semi good start. Then a small sickness, no big. Second good week. Then the shooting at my work. And since then, I've run once for 3 miles. A week ago.

Did I mention I'm running a half marathon in 12 weeks?

Yeah.

Well the half is going to get done even if I have to crawl across the finish. Hmm sounds like last year when I said the same thing about my first 5k. So I guess I'm still better off than last year.

I have a 10k in 2 weeks on Saturday. Yikes!

Time to really kick it back into gear.

I'm emotionally better since the whole incident on that Saturday. No, I wasn't at work (thank goodness!), but I was on my way and I have gotten to know many people in my store and surrounding stores well so I was worried and so sick the whole day. When we went back to work I was uneasy. Monday through Thursday was depressing to be at work. I just felt like I wanted to cry all day. Very little traffic so we didn't have anything else to think about. I can see the store from our store. People came and paid their respects. I got up the nerve on Tuesday afternoon to do the same. The candlelight vigil is what really helped. A lot of stores, including mine, closed down to attend for 30 minutes. There was something very healing about that cold as heck 30 minutes that helped me. I don't know if I froze the grief out of me, but I haven't been depressed on my way to or at work. What happened was awful and something I hope to never experience first hand. I do not ever want a phone call like the one I got last week ever again.

On the bright side, my friend welcomed her first son into the world! I got to hold him and he melted my heart. I didn't think I'd want children. I thought I'd be one of those happy older people in Cancun without kids living the high life. Yes, more champagne darling!

Maybe it was the awful tragedy at work, or maybe the woman baby hormones finally kicked in but I...I think I want a child. ONE child. I don't think I can put myself through so much physical pain more than once in my life. Mind you, I'm not gunning for one right away. After I got a glimpse at all the work pregnancy is (thank you friends and the internet), I figure it'd be a great idea to get at least 15-20 pounds off. Sure I have 30 to go, but sweets are SO GOOD DAMMIT! And the husband needs to get used to the idea and warm to it since we were all in the "no babies for life" party. But the way he babies our cat and talks with little kids, I'm sure he'll be just fine.

At work I'm officially in charge of the floorsets. Had my first on Tuesday night. I was rough and thankfully I had a ton of help. Between the physical prep and execution of floorsets and marathon training, I was burning the candle at both ends. Some people can work physical(ish) jobs and run marathons. Good for them. This pretzel loving, chocolate chomping, ice cream slurping girl just cannot handle it. Not yet. A half is a good challenge for this year. And perhaps I'll do a second half in the fall like I was planning. I like to jump the gun with things. My friends and family know this fact all too well.

But who knows, maybe I will do it.

For now, it is my stretch goal.

There are so many more things I want to accomplish before becoming a...*gulp*... mommy. Marathon isn't necessarily one of them. I'd love to train for one a year after my future baby arrives. Oh you bet your bottom dollar I'll be out rollin with my jogging stroller. Short mileages of course. Babysitting 12-24 month olds have taught me that they get real heavy, real fast. It'll be more motivation to have my son/daughter cheering me on at the finish line. Aw man, I'm getting soft and sappy already. SMH.

I am in the process of making a list.

Next blog post....The INFAMOUS THINGS TO DO BEFORE BABY LIST!

Why I'm Running a Marathon

Today I successfully completed week 2 of marathon training. I was sick last week so I just lazed about and focused on getting better. I definitely felt the lack of training as I got back into it this week. My times were MUCH slower than I'd like, but life happens. Only up from here!

When I tell people I'm running a marathon in the fall (and a half in the spring), they usually respond in a few different ways. They either think I'm crazy, worry about the physical strain on my body and how it will affect me in the future (my momma), are impressed, or don't care whatsoever (what I call the 0.0 people or the "I only run when there's something chasing me" people).

So here are the top 5 reasons why I am running a marathon:

1. Health. 

Heart disease runs in both sides of my family so I'm trying to head it off early. I was obese (according to the BMI chart) from 2011-2012 and overweight in 2013 to present. I'm hopeful that with training plus eating a specific diet used to fuel the large amount of mileage I will be taking on will result in a normal, healthy weight by the time October 12th rolls around. I can feel the extra weight and I'm looking forward to getting it off my body, releasing the pressure on my knees, and looking more graceful when I run.

2. If not now, when?

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I'm in my mid-20s and I am never going to be able to recover as fast and improve as fast with training as I age. Runner's World had a great article about running at every decade of life. The 20s are your physical peak. I think I'm going to be a powerhouse in my 30s as soon as I have more experience and time under my belt. I'm not getting any younger so this feels like the right time to achieve something amazing.

3. Another check on the bucket list!

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A must watch movie!

A marathon was always on my bucket list. I was amazed as a child that my dad would run 26.2 miles. That was such a long distance! And it still is. Life is too short to sit back and list things you'd like to do. Get out there and complete that list! Just because I'm young doesn't mean I need to wait until I'm 30, 40, 50+ to start checking off some life goals. We're not guaranteed tomorrow so live for today!

4. To be extraordinary.

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Personally, I've always wanted to do something amazing and extraordinary with my life. My career is not what I expected (but honestly I love it and I don't like when other people don't respect it). I didn't have a traditional wedding. Nothing I've accomplished thus far has been really noteworthy (except for studying abroad in Italy for a month in college). Running a marathon would be something I will look back on at the end of my life and be happy I had the courage to do. No regrets.

5. Like father, like daughter.

When I was younger I was the biggest mommy's girl there was. I remember crying when my dad took me out to have bonding time because I wanted my mommy. As I grew older, more stubborn, and started developing my own view of the world, we clashed big time (especially when I was in college). My father was raised in a very strict, traditional Catholic family. I followed this traditional outlook for the majority of my life as well until college. While I do believe in being a good person and treating everyone with respect, I don't agree with some major aspects of the church. That is my decision and my father is amazing and very respectful of my choices in this area (although I know he wishes I was that cute little 6 year old church girl again). As I began running, my dad was really excited. When he saw I was sticking with it, he was even happier. Running Berwick with him really meant a lot to me, and I think it did for him as well. He was nervous about my decision to run a marathon, but he's very supportive of it. He's going to try and come out of retirement to run the full marathon with me. I really hope he'll be able to, but I'm just as nervous for him running that long of a distance! There is a definite difference between what a 25 year old body can take and what a 50+ body can handle. But he's just as stubborn as I am when he sets his mind to something. After spending the start of my life as a mommy's girl, I'm just as much of a daddy's girl now. I can't wait to finish the race and make him proud. I may cry at the finish line. I probably will cry the night before. I can't wait!


So there it is! I still have a lot of smaller reasons (like more running shoes and gear!), but those are the major ones. Have a happy Friday and a fabulous weekend. I'm going to try and convince the hubby to get some delicious sashimi tonight. Nomz!