"The only bad workout is the one that didn't happen."

Back to the grind!

So how's the mouth? Better. I still feel like someone punched my jaw and some of my teeth are sore since they had rather deep cavities, but overall I'm doing just fine. I haven't even touched pain relievers. My teeth are only sore when I use them to chew heavily. I'm healing up well.

Last night was a great night. I slept through the entire night! I only managed to get 3 hours of sleep due to my anxiety the night before my appointment so I was sore and tired as heck! I've been struggling with insomnia for 2 weeks and I'm excited to finally get a break. Maybe this is the start of normal sleeping patterns again? One can only hope.

Source

Today I hit 25 pounds lost. I'm officially halfway to my goal of 155 pounds! It was wonderful to stand on the scale this morning and look down at 180.2. I was stuck at 183 pounds for 2.5 months and I'm so incredibly happy that the scale is moving down again.

INSANE! Haven't seen that number in a while!

My Insanity workout was my most hated Plyometric Cardio Circuit! I hate every minute of that 41 minute routine. The routine consists of shorter intervals and more breaks, but those intervals are super intense sending my heart rate consistently between 165-175 bpm. At 175 bpm, I am breathing so hard I need to walk it out to get my breath back and heart rate down. I didn't get a run in today but I'll definitely be running tomorrow and Saturday. So only 3 of 4 runs this week. Not a big deal.

Source

I watched Extreme Weight Loss this morning. It is a new show on abc and I loved the first episode! The show airs Tuesdays at 8/7c. The episode was about twins that weighed over 800 pounds between the two of them. Their transformation was amazing and extremely motivating! I know that I have some of the tendencies to be able to reach a weight over 250 pounds. If my body didn't have the issues it did when I was 205 lbs, I probably would've kept gaining weight. The stomach problems were painful, but helped kick my booty into gear. The show is casting and I want to join, but I'm only 25 pounds away from goal, so I doubt they'd take me! So instead I'll keep plugging on with Insanity, and I am looking into P90X for my next challenge. Then, I may loop back to Insanity for another round. We'll see!

This weekend Game of Thrones is back with only 2 more episodes to go in season 3! I finally finished the second book and I am reading the third book now. I am loving the books. The story is a bit different in the books versus the television version. I can see why they changed some portions of it, but I am thoroughly enjoying the new situations and characters that they left out in the television version. If you haven't read the books, I suggest you do especially if you are a fantasy genre fan!

Now I'm off to do some housewife-y things. Have a fantabulous weekend!

1800 Minutes in May Challenge: 1206
(I hit 1200 minutes!! I have a tough workout tomorrow so maybe I'll get close to 1300!)

"There is nothing as sweet as a comeback, when you are down and out, about to lose, and out of time."- Anne Lamott

I'm back baby.

I'm loving the workout motivation board on tumblr!

I ran 20 minutes straight after a 2 week break. Oh my. (Yes, I read Fifty Shades. The shame.)

I jogged a nice slow 13:19 min mile (4.5 on the treadmill) and enjoyed the heck out of the run. I initially promised myself five minute runs dotted with walk breaks, but I was in the groove and didn't stop until the treadmill kicked into cool down mode. Ever been so into a run and then a treadmill drops .5 in a few seconds? Scared the heck out of me as I jerked quickly to slow down while trying not to fall over my own feet.

Damn treadmills...

The treadmill may not happen as often since my husband found me an awesome running path around a nearby lake! We went and walked around it today and played Ingress (Look it up. I'm too lazy to explain it.). Talk about beautiful views with some nice rolling hills! I'm tempted to take the husband out tomorrow. We shall see.

Coming off the high of being able to run 1.5 miles after a 2 week break, I really dug into my Insanity workout today. I can feel myself getting stronger and my flexibility increasing ever so slightly. My weight is at a stand still, but from reading other people's experiences with the program the weight will come off soon enough. I'm enjoying my new baby muscles that are popping up around my body. I feel like my fat is more compact and getting ready to get out. The eviction notice has been up for almost 6 months so it's about time it moved on out.

thanks bbcamerica.com!

Tomorrow is the very anticipated Doctor Who episode, The Name of the Doctor. I'm very excited since I've always wondered about the name, but at the same time I don't want to know. Some people think it'll ruin the show, but others are more accepting of it. I'm with the accepting crowd. I'm interested to see where the series will go now. We're coming up on maybe the 12th Doctor. I love Matt Smith, but I think his time as the Doctor is running out. I'm ready for something to change in the series. I haven't been a big fan of season 7 so I'm hoping that season 8 will improve. I hope the 50th Anniversary special will live up to the hype. It will be nice to see David Tennant and Billie Piper again. I cannot wait. Is it November yet?

I'm slowly finishing the second book in the Game of Thrones series. I love how some events happen differently in the books so it is like reading a different story at times. I'm thoroughly enjoying season 3 of the television series and I am officially addicted. Doctor Who level addicted. It's time to start searching for shirts to add to my geek clothing collection.

Now off to a weekend of rest and relaxation! :)

1800 Minute May Challenge: 624/1800
I did 120 minutes of exercise with the extra walk today! Yay!

"We all live with the scars we choose. They might hurt like hell but they all make us stronger..."- Take Me As I Am, Sugarland

I FEEL GREAT TODAY!

Yes, it was necessary to yell. I haven't felt so good, so healthy, so calm and happy in a long while. Best of all, my anxiety is on the downward swing and I've found better ways to reign it in when it is getting too much.

And today I ran 20 minutes without stopping for the first time in a month! I actually enjoyed my time on the treadmill today. *gasp*

Afterwards I celebrated with level 3 day 2 of Ripped in 30! Level 3 is no joke. I started the first day of it on Saturday and during the cool down cried because I was so happy I survived and finished the 30 minutes. Next to Insanity, it is the hardest routine I've ever encountered. The level really targets your thighs, butt, and triceps the most. On Sunday I had some serious delayed-onset muscle soreness like I had when I started working out 4 months ago. Ouch ouch ouch!

But oh it works!

Today we hit 80 degrees! And I discovered I can wear all of my shorts! Well, I shouldn't really wear 2 pairs because they are too loose! I'm beyond amazed at the progress I've made with my body. Now I'm still in the 180s but I am rocking my shorts and showing off the progress I've made. This whole experience has made me appreciate my body much more than I used to. I used to complain at 155 lbs that I was fat. Now I'd love to go back and smack my 20-year-old self upside the head. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

For once, I'm semi-looking forward to the race in 3 weeks! I got to visit with my parents this weekend, and my dad seems really excited and proud that I keep going no matter what. I almost quit, but now I've worked out that my body is the happiest around a 14 minute mile and I can maintain good running form. Speed will come eventually, but right now distance and endurance are the most important. I still have the improbable dream of running that 9 miler in November! Fingers crossed!

So this weekend's television was great! I really enjoyed the new episode of Doctor Who. My parents were over and watched it with us and liked it as well. I think I'm going to convert my mom to the whovian life, ha ha! Game of Thrones was great and left me thinking about what's going to happen next, especially with Arya!

Well, I'm off to start tonight's dinner, steak sandwiches! Nomz!

“Promise Yourself

To be so strong that nothing
can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity
to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel
that there is something in them
To look at the sunny side of everything
and make your optimism come true.

To think only the best, to work only for the best,
and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past
and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times
and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,
and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world,
not in loud words but great deeds.
To live in faith that the whole world is on your side
so long as you are true to the best that is in you.”
― Christian D. Larson, Your Forces and How to Use Them

Keep buggering on!

Side stitches SUCK

I only got in 8 minutes of jogging and the side stitches were so bad they even hurt when I walked. I only got 30 minutes in (mostly walking), but hey, that's better than nothing, right?

I really hate the treadmill. Really. Truly. Hate. It. 

source: happyorhungry.com
^ Great blog!^

It's boring and leaves me with my thoughts, which are horrible negative and self-defeating. Doesn't help when marathon girl is next to you rocking it out. She doesn't seem like a nice person, and, for the few times I've seen her now, she looks like she wears a permanent scowl. Maybe I just need to wave at her or smile or something? Spread the love! Life's too short to be upset/mean. 

I need to stop being so damn mean to myself.  

Working on it.

The best time of the day is Ripped in 30 time! I just finished level 2 today and I am feeling so strong and awesome. No matter how crappy my run/jog/walk went, I always know Jillian will kick the crap out of me. Masochist? Maybe. I love the feeling of my muscles giving out, resting for five seconds, then getting right back at it until they give out again. Ah, what a difference 4 months makes! I'm just hoping to keep it going for, um, ever. Hopefully. I'm finally starting to feel my age again and not 20 years older. 

Things are improving. 

Last night I had an awesome time at D&D (Dungeons & Dragons)! I love being a warforged barbarian and smashing things. Joe talked me into take the shiny, purple, magical warhammer before we sold it and, I must say, I love it. I tried it out in the next battle and made orc pancakes! Although I'm still quite slow with the mental math so it takes me a few seconds to add everything up before I annihilate orcs or whatever is attacking us. Something is always attacking us. At least it's fun!

Tomorrow is Doctor Who! Ah I love Saturdays in spring and fall, always something good to watch! And Sunday is more Game of Thrones, yes!

For now I shall go scrub toilets since the parents are coming to visit this weekend....

Mileage: 1.75

Ripped in 30 Progress: Level 2- Complete!

"Usually when people are sad, they don't do anything. They just cry over their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about a change."- James Russell Lowell

I am so angry.

Yep.
I love this baby! lol 

So I finally got back into running and had to start back at Week 4 of my running plan. Well, today I started week 5 and I SUCK. I could only run 3 of the last 5 minute burst due to getting dizzy, anxiety issues, etc. I don't know if anyone else notices this when training on a treadmill, but I can feel everything in my body jiggling and it makes my head buzz near 20-25 minutes and makes me dizzy. I hate hate hate it!

And before you say go to the doctor, I did. I'm getting my blood work done Friday so hopefully all is well. Everything, even my evil foot/leg checked out and there are no major issues except for my anxiety/panic disorder that has come back with a VENGEANCE.

If you've ever experienced any mental/chemical imbalances in the ol' noggin, you know how frustrating it is and how defeated I feel. I can reason to myself why I shouldn't freak out all I want, yet I still feel dizzy, my blood pressure shoots up and I feel like I'm going to pass out. It's awful and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. It happens a good bit in public but can happen for no reason even when I'm just relaxing or the new one is when I'm RUNNING. Who has a panic attack when they RUN? Me, that's who. I know it confuses the heck out of me too. Ugh ugh ugh.

Anxiety/panic disorders really do ruin your quality of life. All you norms can roll your eyes all you want and say I'm just a baby that need to get her sh*t together (I know, I've heard it all before), but when my head feels like a jar of angry bees buzzing around I know it's not just me being "weak." I deal with that feeling to various degrees EVERY DAY. It drives me insane and I just want it to stop. I got off the treadmill today and just broke down crying (thankfully our gym is deserted in the afternoon). I've trained for so damn long to have all my progress taken away and a huge mental block inserted is so defeating.

So what's the game plan?

Well I'm thinking about decreasing the run/walk to only 20-25 minutes. I'm trying desperately to get in contact with one of the therapists my doctor gave me. The one can't take me until the middle of May and I'm seeing if anyone else can do any better. Basically, whoever can fit me in before then wins my business as a patient. Fun fun. So that or a mental breakdown whichever comes first.

Now for a little ray of sunshine or two!

On the upside, I'm on Week 2 of Ripped in 30. I'm back in love with Jillian Michaels again. We broke up in February when I finished 30 Day Shred and I decided to dedicate my time to running. After hurting my foot, I found Jillian back in my life again by starting Ripped in 30. I tried the diet plan and that was working for me breakfast and lunch but not dinner. So now I'm following the plan but making my own dinners. There just weren't enough calories in the dinner choices, and I would wake up in the middle of the night (again) hungry and searching for my late night bowl of cheerios after an i-didn't-eat-enough-calories day. I eat an insane amount of calories for a lady and still lose weight. I love it. I see everyone else starving while I'm stuffing my face and still losing weight. Now I'm not taking off more than a pound a week, but it's sustainable and I still get to eat foods I love. And I get to eat out. I'm a lucky lady.

RI30 Week 2 ladies!
We sweat together and experience muscle exhaustion together.
LOVE!

Speaking of food, my hubby and I found a great Korean BBQ place that we're going to check out this weekend. In the same plaza there is a place to get dumplings. Oh man I LOVE dumplings. So for Easter weekend we're going to be eating a lot of Korean food. I'm really Asian on the inside. Believe me if my husband found a job Japan we'd be gone tomorrow much to our parents' chagrin. I think I'm going to sit him down after work and plan where our next overseas excursion should be. I'm thinking Japan. That's going to take a lot of saving, it will be a horribly long plan ride, but I think it will be worth it.

THIS IS THE BIG WEEKEND FOLKS! DOCTOR WHO AND GAME OF THRONES ARE BACK!
I cannot wait. Why is it Wednesday? It should be Saturday like, um, NOW! I'm only VERY excited!

So with the bad and frustrating comes the good and exciting.

I needed this today. 

Ah life.

“The flower that blooms in adversity is the rarest and most beautiful of all.” ― Walt Disney Company, Mulan

weheartit.com

Ah I love Mulan! I swear that movie started my obsession with Asian culture. And the movie delivers a great message to little girls that you can be whatever you want to be...even if you have to dress up like a guy to get there. Hehehe.

So how's the human injury machine doing today you ask?

Healing. I haven't run since Monday and hope that I can bust out a mile this Monday to get back into it. My arch, top and bottom of foot as well as my ankle is still rather sore, but I'm not letting it stop me completely. I did some of the recumbent bike and upper body weights on Wednesday, and yesterday I, somewhat reluctantly, started Ripped in 30.  I managed to find a stretchy ankle brace so I don't make the pain worse and so far things are okay. I really love Ripped in 30. I did the 30 Day Shred, which really kick started my weight loss and since it ended the weight loss has been slower. Thankfully the first week of Ripped in 30 is much lower impact than the first week of 30 Day Shred, so I don't have to modify much. The only thing I'm not comfortable with is the butt kicks and so I do an extra rep of punches during that exercise. I FINALLY found a doctor and have an appointment for my annual physical so I'm excited to get some answers with this evil leg of mine. 

Even with all these little pains, I'm feeling strong. Really strong. I can do so much more than I used to 3.5 months ago. I fit in ALL of my clothes again! The clothes I can't wear are too baggy. My goal pants were tight on me even when I was 20-30 pounds lighter so it'll be a really great feeling to finally zip them up and wear them with pride. Another thing I'm noticing is the absence of my multiple times a week heartburn. I only get it now when I eat 2 acidic foods in a day ( my last bad heartburn was 3/2/13 due to ziti for lunch and BBQ pulled pork for dinner). I'm challenging myself to take it a step further and I'm starting Jillian Michael's Ripped in 30 meal plan. Normally I don't like to follow meal plans because they require weird ingredients and are just not realistic. The meal plan uses foods I already eat and just combines them in different ways I haven't thought of. And if I start getting bored (it's only 30 days so I don't see how that's possible, but it happens!) I have a  Jillian Michaels recipe book Joe bought me for Christmas so we're covered! I'm curious to see if it will make a difference or not. I still plan to eat out once a week. Got to have a day to let your hair down food wise! 

My awesome husband won us tickets to an orchestra tomorrow night so I will be enjoying an evening of lovely music! My music teachers through the years always said to me that I'd always come back to music in my life and I didn't believe them. Well, they were right. I'm excited to start community chorus in April and get back into music again. 

Time to start the weekend! TGIF!

Days until new Doctor Who: 15

Days until new Game of Thrones: 16

Doctor Who and the Tardis by Craig Hurle

“I DON'T CARE!" Harry yelled at them, snatching up a lunascope and throwing it into the fireplace. "I'VE HAD ENOUGH, I'VE SEEN ENOUGH, I WANT OUT, I WANT IT TO END, I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!" "You do care," said Dumbledore. He had not flinched or made a single move to stop Harry demolishing his office. His expression was calm, almost detached. "You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it.” ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

"You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it.” 

So I have yet another injury. It is probably minor and gone within a few days, but it is so frustrating! I ran around the neighborhood yesterday morning. I had a great time, so much so I wasn't sure if I went around the .6 mile loop  3 or 4 times. The last time around I felt some pain in my arch and didn't think much of it. I went out grocery shopping and running errands, did some cleaning, and started some laundry (my life is so amazingly interesting, right?). Then as I was making dinner it felt like the arch of my foot wanted to crack and was sore. After dinner, my entire foot (top, bottom, ankle, part of my calf) had a throbbing, radiating pain shooting through it. I iced it and still the pain persisted. It was only after an Aleve that the pain was a little less intense and I slept with my foot propped up. 

I'm too young for this. 

I cannot describe in words how defeated I felt last night. It's always something. Yes, I'm on the hunt for a doctor so I can get answers to why this one leg is the bain of my exercise existence. Even when I was 30 pounds lighter I still had foot pain, but of course the extra weight makes everything worse. Ah if only I could lose 30 pounds in one night...

Um, maybe not...

I love quotes. I love books. When I ran across this Harry Potter quote it was perfect. I just want to give up right now. I want to just say, "SCREW IT ALL!! IT ISN'T WORTH IT! I DON'T CARE!" But the truth is I care so much. If I didn't care about getting healthy and becoming a distance runner I wouldn't get so emotional and angry. I would shrug my shoulders and say, well at least I tried! And that race is nipping at my painful heels. 

Nothing in life worth having comes easy, right?

So today I'm hobbling about the house doing little things here and there. I'm giving it one really good day of rest and then maybe I'll try doing a light walk on it tomorrow. I'm hoping there is that stretchy bandage stuff around here somewhere to wrap my arch and ankle for some extra support. 

I'm thinking I'll sign up for that community chorus today. I've been back and forth with participating or not. My husband knocked some sense and tough love into me a few nights ag0 (figuratively not literally!).
After getting married so fast, failing at 4 different jobs in the span of 2 years, and having lots of anxiety issues, I've become a recluse. I very rarely go out with other people and usually my husband is there too. I have very little self confidence left (not like I had much before) and generally avoid people. 

Well, I've taken some steps to fix all that and so far so good. Joining this chorus would get me out of my shell and I LOVE singing. I took voice lessons last year for about 3 months and improved rather quickly. I have a lot more confidence singing, but I'm still scared as heck to do it in front of others. I'm at a point where I miss singing so much that I don't care if other people hear me or not. Thankfully a chorus is about blending and harmonizing and I enjoyed it in high school so why not give it a try?

My favorite song to sing is...

Name that song and musical! 

I love it. I love singing Maureen's part but can also relate to Joanne's part as well. Maureen's attitude is a side of myself I buried when I said I do. I was a risk taker and I'd like to think flirty when I wanted to be. I've never been a party girl in any sense of the word and will never be, but I do like the limelight here and there. I never had this song as an assignment for voice lessons, but I have been working on it constantly. 

Singing is a good stress reliever. Almost as good as exercise...almost.  

New Doctor Who in 19 DAYS! 
New Game of Thrones in 20 DAYS!

My favorite Game of Thrones character? It's a tie between Arya Stark and Daenerys Targaryen. 
My husband and I both LOVE Arya and agree that if we have a child and it is a girl she will be named Arya.  I love Daenerys because life really screwed her over and she took control of it and is growing to be a very strong woman. The same could be said about Arya as well. And everyone in the book.  It is addicting and I'm working on the books now. Love it!

Winter is coming...

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I cried like a baby during this scene. One of those "Omg I didn't realize this show affected me like this" moments.

Mileage from 3/11: 1.8 running, .6 walking