“Treat yourself like a fat person with aches and pains and a suitcase full of excuses, and good luck--you'll stay exactly where you are. Train like an athlete and, though you may not look like one now, you will become one.” ― Chalene Johnson

God I love tumblr!
Yes, I've used this picture before, but I love it

That photo about sums today up. On Fridays I usually workout hard, but today reached a whole new level of pain. 

10K training is what one would call "easy" right now. Easy in terms of distance. Today was only 2 miles. I laugh at myself sometimes because I'm ashamed of only going 2 miles. Six months ago I couldn't even go 2 minutes without dying. Today I ran a 12:45 minute mile. It's plenty challenging but I didn't pull my knee like I did pushing it too fast too soon on Wednesday. I will be running a 12 min mile by November. 

From healthandfitness1st on Tumblr.com
Oh I ached today!

Any who, after the run I did Insanity. I screwed up and was supposed to do Pure Cardio and Cardio Abs on Wednesday, but I did Cardio Power and Resistence instead. So today was a Pure Cardio and Cardio Abs day. On top of the running (and I use the random setting on the treadmill to get in hills) with Insanity I burned 950 calories today. I had to do a double take at my HRM (heart rate monitor). Tomorrow is Plyometric Cardio Circuit day. I HATE that workout, but at least I get to rest on Sunday. Also, I'm hoping to get to the lake tomorrow to run my "EZ run" on my schedule. It is supposed to rain, but should be done by 11 am. 

Rain, rain, stay away!

So what else is there? Nothing much right now. Now that Doctor Who is done until November (::cries::), Saturday nights are no longer exciting. There's still Game of Thrones on Sunday night, so that's something to bugger on for! 

Oh, I did manage to get to the dentist this week, and I probably set the record for most cavities found in a single visit. Thankfully there are no root canals that need to be done (yay for healthy roots!), but it's my fault for avoiding the dentist for (almost) 3 years. So next Wednesday I get the first half of my mouth filled. I'm super nervous since it has been awhile since I had work done on my mouth, and I read horror stories about racing heart beats due to the epinephrine they put in the numbing shots now. Yeah, I can deal with the pain, but it's the possible side effects that terrify me. The second round will be in June after my race. So I'm happy that I'll have some time to heal, but angry that I'll probably have to skip a workout putting me off my game. I can see myself, mouth still numb with drool rolling down to chin, trying to push myself through a workout. It all depends how I feel. I'll probably be exhausted from the anxiety of the whole situation. That day will be a day for milkshakes, smoothies, and soup. Mmmm.

Until that day, I gotta keep training hard! This body isn't going to build itself. 

The foundation is getting there...
From healthandfitness1st on Tumblr.com

1800 Minute May Challenge: 970

(Almost at 1000! Goal now is to break that by the end of the month!)

"The difference between a jogger and a runner is an entry blank." -George Sheehan

I found the best article for novice runners: If You Run Slow, Who Cares?

Something I struggle with is feeling like I'm too slow and not a "real" runner. I'm not fast. I'm constantly doubting myself and feeling ashamed of my pace. Honestly, it doesn't matter how fast you are in the beginning. I'm not looking to qualify for the Boston marathon any time soon. I'm trying to build my strength and endurance. I want to train consistently and avoid injuries. I think these are some good goals to have in the beginning.

One of my favorites. 

On my run today I surprised the heck out of myself. I decided for S&G's to set the treadmill at a 12 mile pace (5.0). I figured I'd do that and then hit it down to 4.5-4.6 where I usually jog. The awesome cleaning lady (she's so friendly!) came in to clean the gym and I spent all 20 minutes during my run talking to her. I was TALKING and RUNNING at 5.0!! Now it was a lot harder than I'm used to but I did it! I love having someone to talk with during my workout. I'm so glad that I'm running my next race with a whole group of people. I'm a rather social runner. Go figure. I'm hoping that some of my girly friends that are learning how to run stick with it so we can do the Disney Princess Half Marathon! I won't be ready for the 2014 one but I'm hoping to run my first half in 2015. Or the end of 2014 if my body is ready.

WANT!
Found this on tumbr on rock-the-trails.
She has some gorgeous trail pics!

I think I may have over done the speed with today's run though. During Insanity (Cardio Power and Resistance today!) I had a shooting pain down the outside of my knee. It took it easy, focused on my form (jumping squat things are hard to keep good form), and half way through the workout the pain went away. I'm terrified of injuring myself AGAIN and I am taking every precaution to avoid it. Of course I would screw up and go against my own advice of "going slow" when increasing speed. I'm going to run at 4.7-4.8 from now on with spurts of 5.0 until my legs get accustomed to the new speed. Slow and steady.

I cannot wait for Saturday. I'm going to drag my husband to the lake path to have a nice easy run. I started a 10K training plan and Saturdays are my 25-30 minute EZ runs. Saturday are now known as LAKE DAYS! You wouldn't want to swim in the lake, but the view is beautiful and will make the 2 mile loop go fast. Also, I'm not just training for a 10K, I actually signed up for one! I'll be doing the local turkey chase 10K on November 17th. I love running in the cold so this will be a fun race. The course is mostly flat and I'm hoping to finish in under 1 hr and 30 minutes. My dad wants to run it with me so I'll have someone to chat with again! I love that my dad is so supportive with my training and races. He's the best and I hope he can come to Disney with me to cheer me on (since the Princess Half Marathon is for girls only). That goal is far away, but  it is great motivation through all the training that will go on the next 2 years!

I love this facebook cover. Very true!

Here's to training and hopefully the scale will move! Argh plateaus!

1800 Minute May Challenge: 844/1800
(I won't make it, but I'm going to get as close as I can!)

"There is nothing as sweet as a comeback, when you are down and out, about to lose, and out of time."- Anne Lamott

I'm back baby.

I'm loving the workout motivation board on tumblr!

I ran 20 minutes straight after a 2 week break. Oh my. (Yes, I read Fifty Shades. The shame.)

I jogged a nice slow 13:19 min mile (4.5 on the treadmill) and enjoyed the heck out of the run. I initially promised myself five minute runs dotted with walk breaks, but I was in the groove and didn't stop until the treadmill kicked into cool down mode. Ever been so into a run and then a treadmill drops .5 in a few seconds? Scared the heck out of me as I jerked quickly to slow down while trying not to fall over my own feet.

Damn treadmills...

The treadmill may not happen as often since my husband found me an awesome running path around a nearby lake! We went and walked around it today and played Ingress (Look it up. I'm too lazy to explain it.). Talk about beautiful views with some nice rolling hills! I'm tempted to take the husband out tomorrow. We shall see.

Coming off the high of being able to run 1.5 miles after a 2 week break, I really dug into my Insanity workout today. I can feel myself getting stronger and my flexibility increasing ever so slightly. My weight is at a stand still, but from reading other people's experiences with the program the weight will come off soon enough. I'm enjoying my new baby muscles that are popping up around my body. I feel like my fat is more compact and getting ready to get out. The eviction notice has been up for almost 6 months so it's about time it moved on out.

thanks bbcamerica.com!

Tomorrow is the very anticipated Doctor Who episode, The Name of the Doctor. I'm very excited since I've always wondered about the name, but at the same time I don't want to know. Some people think it'll ruin the show, but others are more accepting of it. I'm with the accepting crowd. I'm interested to see where the series will go now. We're coming up on maybe the 12th Doctor. I love Matt Smith, but I think his time as the Doctor is running out. I'm ready for something to change in the series. I haven't been a big fan of season 7 so I'm hoping that season 8 will improve. I hope the 50th Anniversary special will live up to the hype. It will be nice to see David Tennant and Billie Piper again. I cannot wait. Is it November yet?

I'm slowly finishing the second book in the Game of Thrones series. I love how some events happen differently in the books so it is like reading a different story at times. I'm thoroughly enjoying season 3 of the television series and I am officially addicted. Doctor Who level addicted. It's time to start searching for shirts to add to my geek clothing collection.

Now off to a weekend of rest and relaxation! :)

1800 Minute May Challenge: 624/1800
I did 120 minutes of exercise with the extra walk today! Yay!

“There is only one god and his name is Death. And there is only one thing we say to Death: “Not today.” ― George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones

Note: This is a post about my medical experience with anxiety treatment and other health issues. If this is TMI then don't read this post. My purpose in writing this post is three-fold. First, it is to help me de-stress and understand all this information that I've been bombarded with since March. It's a way of accepting this crap and telling the world I'm okay (even when I feel like I'm never going to be okay again). Second, it is my hope to find a kindred spirit who has been through or is facing the same problems as myself. It is weird to be in my 20s and being treated for the same issues facing someone who is 40+. Third, maybe this post will serve to help another person that has been experiencing anxiety problems but is too timid/shy/ashamed to seek help. The best thing you can do is talk to a medical professional about any anxiety/mood problems you may have. Don't wait and LISTEN to your doctor. 

Bless me running community for I have sinned. It has been 2 weeks since my last run and these are my excuses:
               - Pulled calf muscle
               - Anxiety
               - Fear

So, I'm going to need to start over with running. It is a crying shame, but I'm a wimp and anxiety is ruling my LIFE. I was supposed to start today, but, as stated in the three excuses above, I am putting it off until tomorrow.

On the bright side I'm still going strong with Insanity! Despite missing last week, I picked right up again on Monday and I am in the middle of week 2. I'm excited because on Monday I get to do the fit test again to see how I've progressed. Fingers crossed! I love the program so much even though it pushes me to my limits and leaves my gasping for breath sometimes. I blame the endorphin rush after it is over. And the biggest perk is that I don't have to leave my house to do it. BEST. PROGRAM. EVER.

Today I finally got to see the psych about my anxiety that has taken over my life. After a good half hour of talking through my options, I decided the best thing for me to do is to go back on medication. Now I had tons of options with treatment using the prescriptions; I could use a daily medication with a medicine for anxiety or just have the medicine for acute attacks. I have had a horrible experience with medication before so I really wanted to stay away from it, but, being properly educated on the benefits of a milder medication than I was previously taking, I decided it was for the best to give it a try. I'm uber sensitive to any medicine so I'm on the smallest dosage ever, which will help if I do have any bad reactions to the prescriptions.

The biggest deciding factor in choosing medication over therapy for me is the fact that my blood pressure is much too high for someone in their 20's. In addition to the prescriptions, I was told to get a blood pressure monitor to track my pressure so when I go back to the PCP in July we can see how that anxiety medication is working and determine if I need to go on blood pressure medication as well. All I can think is, I'M TOO YOUNG FOR THIS CRAP! And it's all because of my bad food decisions that led to a 50 pound weight gain and my predisposition for mental imbalances.

I want my health back and if taking some medicine once a day will get me back to a normal blood pressure then so be it! The psych was very impressed when I told her I work out at least 30-40 minutes 5-6 times a week so I'm to keep that up along with the medicines and blood pressure monitoring. Let's hope that by July we'll see some movement back toward a normal blood pressure and LIFE!

I'm thankful that my health problems are not life threatening. I could have cancer or some other terminal illness and do not take the health that I do have for granted. It would be nice to be a normal 20-something that doesn't have to take anything more than a daily multivitamin, but that was not the card I was dealt.

I love the quote from A Game of Thrones (thank you, youtube and those who have editing software!):

Not today, Death, not today.

1800 Minute Challenge: 504/1800
(Probably not going to make 1800, but I'm hoping to hit 1000-1200 minutes!)

“Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive.” ― Josephine Hart, Damage

Hello injury, we meet again! 

I managed to pull my calf muscle again. The bright side? It is the right leg this time! I woke up a couple times during the night since I kept hitting my right calf with my left foot. I hoped that I just needed to stretch it out but walking and putting pressure on it is quite painful, so there went that hope. I just finished the first week of Insanity yesterday and felt my calves tightening up really bad, but decided to just work through it. Well, that was a big mistake. Le sigh. 

Me post-Insanity workout.
Love you tumblr! 

I had a fantastic weekend so this muscle pull was just athletic karma reasserting itself. The hubby dragged me 40 feet up in the air on small ropes on Saturday. Now, I'm not afraid of heights per say, but when you have me balancing on small areas of space 40 feet in the air it is very terrifying. The course was 3 levels high. Each level you had to climb a pole with spikes in it to get to the next level. I used so much upper body strength that day. I completed the course, but found the last 2 obstacles the most terrifying. The second to last obstacle was just 3 ropes stretched out. I fell off of that one (thank goodness for the harness!). The last obstacle you jumped to a rope hanging in mid air and then to a rope net where you pulled yourself up it and over onto the platform. I was shaking and I couldn't tell if my eyes were watering because I was crying or because of the tree pollen. Tears aside, I completed that terrifying thing!! I did something I thought I would never do. The hubby decided to take the "leap of faith" off of the level two platform. You jump and hit a rope suspended in mid air and then fall and the guy belays you down the rest of the way. I'm sorry but there are just some things I will not do and that is one of them. I climbed down the rest of the tower, and I was very happy to have ground under my feet again. Hubby went to do the leap one more time while I tried to stop shaking. Afterwards we went to lunch and had some amazing food. Food helps one recover from terrifying experiences such as that.

Thank you Tumblr for this awesome gif!

Sunday I was supposed to finish week one of Insanity but I could not move my arms much. My entire upper body ached so I decided to take it easy and wait until Monday to finish week one. I was supposed to start 10K training today, but that has been put off for a tad. I'm hoping to get back to everything by Thursday at the earliest and Monday of next week at the latest. I'm RICE-ing and am very thankful that I own compression sleeves for my calves to help speed up the healing process. I'm frustrated and I know that I'll lose some of my conditioning, but letting the pull heal is what needs to be done. I've been through this before and know what to expect and what to do. 

My cat knows what I need to do today:

Rest and Elevate!!

Time to do some light housework and get back to gaming! 

1800 minutes in May: 320/1800

The Aftermath: Post Race Body and Starting Insanity

Well, I'm still a happy camper.

It was such a nice day!

I got onto the treadmill today and couldn't stop smiling. Now I know all the work, sweat, and sometimes tears is worth it. I did it and I shall continue to do it. Run, baby, run!

One thing I'd like to talk about and what many people don't talk about is your body post first 5K. I ended up getting a little head cold and felt like absolute crap on Monday. My glutes and inner thighs got the worst of the soreness, but it wasn't anything I haven't felt before. On a scale of 1-10, I'd say the pain was 3-4. I was sore, but I could deal. The worst part was the headache that was ripping through the left side of my face. I had a horrible toothache and have been rinsing with whiskey (I know, I know, but it works!) and used a drop or two of almond extract on the tooth to relieve the pain. Crazy remedies but they work! I have a dentists appointment as well to rule out a cavity or if it was really just my sinuses acting up.

Yesterday I finally felt back to normal for the most part. I started Insanity with my first fit test. That fit test is no joke. I tried Insanity back when I was in college and only completed 3 days of it. I still had some of the fit test results from then and I beat most of them this time around! When I tried Insanity in college, I was about 155 lbs, running 3 times a week and doing a dance class that semester. I'm 182 lbs and I am much stronger than I ever was in college. I'm hopeful that when I do reach 155 lbs again it will be a very muscular 155 lbs.

Today I did the Plyometric Cardio Circuit. Holy pain! Now, I've worked myself to what I thought was exhaustion previously, but today my muscles gave out on me before my mind did. I did rest a good amount through the 40 minutes of crazy, but I kept pushing and pushing hard. The amount of sweat that came out of my body was incredible. I soaked through my entire tank top three-quarters of the way through it and had to discard it at the same time a lot of the men on the tape were discarding their shirt (he he). I do NOT have any kind of a tight stomach region (yet!) so it was a horror show, but I was alone so it was all good. Overall, the workout was really hard, but I enjoyed it! I like feeling super sore because it lets me know I'm doing something that is challenging my body. And challenge = change.

My biggest concern about starting Insanity was that I'd be too tired to train for my race(s). So I ran for 2 miles BEFORE and then walked up the 6 flights (I love living on the top floor but the stairs are killer!) and set up my heart rate monitor and started Insanity. I think running 3 times a week and Insanity 6 times a week will be possible. Exhausting, but possible.

To help me with keeping up with all this exercise, I'm joining my friend Desiree at Finding the Skinny Geek Within (check out her blog! She's awesome and keeps me going!) for a challenge of 1800 minutes of exercise in May! I'm going to design an excel sheet to keep track of my minutes and will list the total at the end of my posts. I don't post every day I exercise, so I'm just going to keep a running total. If I find a fun widget to help count up to 1800 minutes, I'll add it to the side bar.

This weekend is my husband's alternate birthday weekend, since his real birthday weekend was the weekend of my race. On Saturday we're going to do a high ropes challenge course at a local "adventure" course. I might only get 5 days on Insanity in this week due to the high ropes challenge, but I'm still going to try and fit it in afterwards. I'm rather afraid of heights so that will be a great challenge! I'm more confident in my ability to balance well, but when I'm 40 ft in the air, we'll see how that holds up!

Until next time, get out there and do one thing this week that scares you!

1800 minutes in May: 77 minutes total

Iron Girl 5K: Recap

So...I ran a 5K. I did it. I was slow but I never stopped running. That is BEYOND amazing to me. What a great weekend!

On Saturday my dad came into town and we ran around most of the day since I was nervous and didn't want to sit still. When it came time to sleep, I kind of had a mini breakdown. All of the emotions from months of good and bad training days hit me at once and I was just overwhelmed. I couldn't believe I was going to do this. This mythical 5K that was a far off dream during Christmas was now becoming a reality. THE FEELS! 

Accurate.

After a night of very little sleep, I woke up at 5 am ate some rice krispies and suited up. We had fancy time chips that we were fiddling with the best way to put on our sneakers. Weird things but I never even knew it was there until they harvested it from our shoes at the end. Seriously, people were at the finish line with scissors in their hands watching feet and then would stop you to harvest the chip.

o0o0o fancy

It was a tiny bit chilly but the sun was rising as we were stretching and getting ready. The half marathon started first so we cheered them on and then had 20 minutes to jog around a bit and get ready. I was nervous but the whole thing felt surreal. At one point I looked down and was confused why I had a tag on my shirt. I'm not a runner. I'm a fat girl. I walk. I don't run. Yet the tag stayed and I continued to be in a drowsy haze.

Random runners in the parking lot/holding tank

The reality hit me hard when we were all packed in at the starting line. I stayed near the back since I knew better to get in the way of the "real" runners. They were crazy fast. Five minute mile fast. Dang. The countdown happened and we were off. 

It was light jogging on the flat and then up a hill out of the parking lot and onto the main street. The course was gentle rolling hills. There would be a flat area, a nice incline, a flat, a nice incline and repeat a few times. At one point I asked my dad if we hit a mile yet and he said we were right by the half way/turn around point. Sure enough a few minutes later we grabbed some water, tossed it back and set off down hill. Oh how wondrous the downhill part felt after, more or less, an uphill climb. There were some light hills again but it was nice and we really picked up the pace from mile 2 to the end. People were walking a lot and we kept passing loads of them, making me feel great that I was able to keep going. Around mile 3 I told my dad I was getting a beer at lunch and I didn't care. I earned it. He just chuckled. 

I remember seeing the end point of the race. My lungs were starting to burn since I was pushing it. I saw the other runners ahead of us turning to the right and I knew we were steps from the finish! I continued to bugger on and was soon greeting by the flags and fancy finish line colors. They announced my name as I finished and all I kept telling myself was "get to the blue mats, get to the blue mats, get to the blue mats." I touched down on those lovely blue mats and started to walk. My head felt like it was floating and I assumed it was from minor oxygen deprivation there at the end. 

I'm in the black going under the arch.
My dad hung back so I could have my time alone with the blue mats, haha.
I have never been so happy to see blue mats in my life.

The official race clock was set for the half marathon finishers so I had no clue what time I came in at until I got home and looked at the results. I was just happy to have finished. I got my fancy "finisher" medal, some water and got my shoe tag harvested and then grabbed some free food. An unripe banana never tasted so good. When we got back to the car I had a rice krispie treat I promised myself if I didn't walk during the race. Such sweet, sugary success!

At home I looked up my final time and was pleasantly surprised to have finished in 41 minutes and 36 seconds. My goal was to do it in 45 minutes and I smashed that. My next goal will be to do 5K under 40 minutes. In my head I keep beating myself up. "I should have trained harder...I should have run faster..." At 182 pounds I did a very respectable time. The more weight that comes off my body the more minutes will come off my 5K time. I started this on December 29th wheezing and hacking after running 1 minute. I ran 41 minutes today without stopping. Now that is progress. I'm happier that I can run the distance rather than speed. Speed will come. It will take time but speed will come.

My fancy medal.

Now to wait for Game of Thrones!!

Mileage: 3.1
Average Pace per Mile: 13:26 (thank you run keeper! I did the math wrong and thought I did around 13:59...yay for an extra few second off!)