The Calf Injury Saga & Pity Party

I was all dressed up and ready to go.

"Finally!" I thought, "Today is finally the day I get to return to running! There's a small pain in my other calf, but some self massage will clear it up. No worries!"

The massage didn't help. Now my calf is really hurting.

"No problems, I'll jog around the apartment and it'll loosen up!"

Five minutes of jogging later, pain is shooting up my calf and frustration is slowly building.

"This can't possibly be. I haven't done ANYTHING that would possibly pull this muscle! Except my body keeps getting really tense at night. No, just some more jogging."

Five minutes of jogging later and the pain is still there.

*Start of pity party*

"Why me! Why why why! All I want to do is run. That's all I think about. It's all I want to do and yet my body won't let me do it! Who pulls their leg in their sleep?!"

*Insert crying here*

My cat was confused at the noise I was making.
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My body is not being very nice to me lately. I still (technically) have today and tomorrow to rest for it to be a whole 7 days off since my injury. I really should rest the whole week. I hate resting.

My insomnia is back. After 3 days of crazy amounts of sleep (9-12 hours), it's baaaaack! I'm going to try and stick to a strict bed time routine to get my internal clock reset. This 3am-11am sleep schedule I find myself on is not working out.

So through all this body dysfunction, I'm still managing to lose some weight. I "cheat" weighed myself this morning and was down to 179.6 (I was 180.2 last week). My official weigh in day is usually Friday so I'm excited for it. I'd love it to be 179.2 so I will have officially lost a pound, but any loss is a good loss at this point.

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I threw myself a pity party today and even though I know there are way worse situations to be in, it really helped. The pity party was therapeutic in a way. Now I feel all zen-like and accepting of the world. All the frustration just kept building and building until it finally erupted today. In college, my Psych 101 professor taught us that the physical act of crying actually helps relieve sadness and is a good anti-depressant. Whether that study was true or not, it seems to help me. I'm an over emotional, theatrical kind of person so repressing strong feelings doesn't work for me, especially sadness. I know I look and sound like a spoiled five-year-old child, but after the 5-10 minutes of "tantrum" everything is okay with the world again. Or I could be going through the stages of grief. Or both.

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Thankfully whatever it is happened fast.

Now I'm just figuring out what to do next.  More healing! And maybe some lunch.

Here's hoping Friday is the day!!